Those blogless days

wpid-DSC_3254.jpg

Some days are just bloggless. Days when you have nothing to say, nothing to show, when you just want to sit under a blanket and knit till you fall asleep. Days when you feel you make no progress, not moving forward and inhabits an eternal lack of inspiration. Should you try to blog anyway? Is that necessary? Would anyone be interested in a day when you have nothing to say?

But if you don’t blog on those days, is there anything that indicates that you have more to say tomorrow? If you let yourself slack, will you ever get back? If you don’t blog in many days, the pressure of a really good post when you actually do is overwhelming. But again, what if you don’t have anything to say? Nothing new knitted, nothing started nor finished.

No one is always just happy and content with everything and I think we all have blogless days, they are a part of life that you need to have to really appreciate the blogfull days. Perhaps we should just embrace those days and recognize them for what they are – blogless days – instead of reading so much into them that you start defining your whole life from them. Just because something isn’t good right now, or even tomorrow or in a week or two, doesn’t mean that life in general is defined by this. I am not the same person I was 30 years ago (actually, I was more of a foetus formed out of 30 cells, tops, exactly 30 years ago but let’s say 29 years ago) and I won’t be the same person in another 30 years. (I mean, come one, I was a pretty good screamer 29 years ago (or so I’ve been told…) and now I barely scream at all, at least not unidentifiable yells that no one understands (if I scream now, you’ll know why). Who knows, in another 30 years I might have taken up whispering. Who would have known? Or, I still talk like I do know, but mostly in another language because I’ve moved somewhere far away. I mean, two years ago I had no idea I would start learning Polish and look at me now.)

My dad once asked me if I remembered that he had a lot of headaches in the 80’s. Since I was only five when the 80’s became the 90’s, I had no idea about this, but the important thing here is not that he had a lot of headaches in the 80’s (even though that must have been horrible and I feel sorry for him that he had those headaches), but that they were in the 80’s. Not in the 90’s and not in the 70’s but in the 80’s. In the 70’s he hadn’t gotten them yet and by the 90’s he had gotten rid of them. Few things stay the same forever (well, obviosuly it still sounds awfully terrible to have a decade full of headaches and I can’t imagine how bad that must have been for him, especially while having a toddler at home and not a very quiet and timid toddler either, but the headaches disappeared and the toddler got older (I absolutely do not think those things are related, not at all!)) and that’s the important thing here, your whole life is not defined because of one bad evening or one bad week or maybe one bad year. Not even by one bad decade. Just because I haven’t baked any bread in over a year doesn’t mean I’m no longer a person who makes my own bread. I can start again, when we least expect it and I am absolutely convinced that I will make another loaf of bread during my lifetime. I just don’t know when.

I once heard of a knitter who got aches in her arms from knitting so she quit. She had a rest from knitting for more than 15 years and probably thought that she would never knit a single stitch ever again. Then one day she picked up her needles and off she went. Her arms had stopped aching and she didn’t get it back. Did she stop being a knitter? Perhaps (unless you believe that once a knitter, always a knitter), but she became one again.

So, just as the bloggless days will go away, and probably come back and then go away again, I will make another loaf of bread, someday when we least expect it (probably while procrastinating something else) and in ten or twenty years I might realize that growing cabbage is my life’s goal, we don’t know. But we do know that things never stay the same and that life is not static. Just because something is in one way right now and you don’t see any changes on the horizon, trust me, they are there. They will come, no matter if it’s a different job, a new hobby, new friends, old friends coming back, a renewed hobby or just a loaf of bread.

I think this is a very comforting thought. I know this means that I won’t always stay happy but it also means that I won’t always stay sad and after a bloggless day (or two, or three or a week) there will be a bloggfull one. I know it.