It would seem that I have come to be a bit stuck. If you’ve been following this blog for some time, you’ve probably understood that colors are important to me. I care about what colors I wear and what colors I surround myself of and this passed winter I had a bad case of CLD – Color Lacking Desease. This means I also care deeply about what colors my yarn is. I don’t like knitting in black (which is why my black wrist warmers with beads are so worn out that I keep leaving little piles of beads everywhere I’ve been while wearing them and I still haven’t replaced them with new ones) and if someone asks me to knit for them I only agree if it’s in a color I can tolerate to knit with (i.e. no blacks, rarely beige or gray, and only in the exceptional case brown or dark blue).
This has rendered the Sweater Committment a little difficult. For some time now I have suspected that there is a discrepancy between the colors I can agree to wear and the colors I can agree to knit. In this case it doesn’t help that I’m terrified of going back to that colorless state I found myself in last January and February. It was just too horrible. I contemplate the color of every item I cast on I only dare to knit in light and happy colors but I don’t want to wear those colors during fall and winter. Call me crazy but my skin tone clashes horrendously with lime green in late November when every last ounce of tan has long left my face and if anyone saw me wear lime green then, they would immeadiatly start looking for the nearest loo as their gag reflexes are starting to get out of control.
This doesn’t mean I don’t like to knit with lime green yarn. I actually find it very pleasing to knit something lime green or peachy or bright yellow. I just don’t want to wear it in November but rather in June. This seems to me like a bit of a rock and a hard place, especially if I’m committed to knitting sweaters. I think the solution is, and this might seem so very easy but I’ve tried this every freaking time I make a decision to work out more and it has always failed, to really kind to myself and remember that it is okay to stop whenever I want (this is where I fail with the work out, I try to tell myself that it is okay to take it slow, that two miles run are totally okay, it doesn’t have to be four or six or whatever, but I can never believe it. Its either to run those four miles or not run at all. This usually means that I, form time to time, “overrun” myself to a point when it’s not fun at all anymore). I can try to cast on something dark purple or so but it’s totally okay to quit and knit on something else if I don’t feel it anymore. Even if this never has worked about the running, maybe with knitting it will do the trick. Maybe I should be a little bold and stick my chin out and try? I’ll think about it.