Today marks my blogiversary. Six years ago I wrote my first post. My father had recently passed and life was quite different compared to now. I’m married, I’ve moved, I’ve switched jobs, I’ve earned two more degrees and I’ve got to meet Me Made.
If there is one thing that shines clearer to me every year it’s the fact that you’re never “done”. You never know what life will bring you in the future, things you couldn’t have dreamed of even if you tried. You can never just sit back and think “I’m done, there are no more changes,” because there will be. Changes for better or for worse but changes nonetheless.
Today was a good change. I got to see the Swedish national team play against Germany and break the previous record for spectators – 25 882 spectators. It was a great game and especially the last ten minutes or so where quite thrilling. I got to see some of my favorite players and it was amazing. Sweden lost but that’s okay, I’m just glad to have been there. I’ll definitely try to see some more games in the future, I’m not done.
Just to prove my point I want to show you some flowers that I ran into today. Spring is here and has been for a little while as these flowers will tell you since they clearly didn’t show up just yesterday. It’s been a windy but sunny day and I’ve seen flowers everywhere. Nature is bursting with life and it’s wonderful to be a spectator to that and also to Me Made discovering it for the first time. Also, and I didn’t see that before, it seems my shawl in progress is actually color inspired by spring. Now I need to hurry up to finish it so I can use it while it’s still spring.
It’s spring, it really is. I’ve seen flowers in the flower beds and the evenings smell like spring. It gets dark later and later and the birds are singing. I love spring evenings. I don’t know why but there is so much hope and wistfulness and dreams in the air. I’ve mentioned it before because I just love this time of the year. It’s a lovely time to be young but it’s also a lovely time to be older. In those moments it feels like I have all the answers, I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, physically and mentally.
I’ve had some discussions about whether or not it’s spring yet and I don’t care what other people say. The signs are all here, the light, the touch, the smell and you just know that spring has truly arrived and there is no going back. I know what winter feels like and I know when it’s spring. It’s only just begun and there are so many more spring evenings ahead to be enjoyed. That’s quite a wonderful feeling.
So, winter came back. We all thought it was over for this year but no, it came back in full force. It’s been snowing all day and I miss my spring shoes. It does mean that mittens still feel like a good idea though so that’s at least something. I’ve cast on the second. I can’t wait till I can cast off.
It’s been a lovely winter’s day and I’ve handed in my last exam. No more studies for me, no reason to enter a university building other than visiting friends. No more lectures, no more seminars, no more exams. It feels a little empty.
Today was my graduation day. After a huge choreographed ceremony I am now a bit tired but happy and feel utterly unprepared to go to work tomorrow. But it will be fine. My closest family was there and little Me Made was a trooper and fell asleep about halfway through. After the ceremony we went out to dinner, although Me Made had to go home with grandma, and celebrated some more. I brought my knitting and managed to get a few rows in there. A lot of pomp and circumstance and happiness and laughter and a little bit of sadness that an era is over.
Or, over might not be the correct term, we have an exam Thursday.
Today I’ve had what might be my last seminar at the university and that’s a little scary. I’ve considered university some sort of a home for over 15 years. It’s not always been a walk in the park and we’ve had our differences but we’ve moved together and we’ve changed and tried to change each other. She’s been there, old and grumpy and backwards but always reliable, no matter what I’ve been doing. We don’t always want each other and we don’t always get along but we also understand each other in so many ways. She’s formed me and I like to think I’ve formed her in at least some ways. When we first met I was so young and a little naïve and she was old and indulgent. Now she’s even older and I’m not as young as I once was (thank goodness) but I’m oh, so much wiser (thanks to her, in more ways than she might intended). She has made me doubt and she has given me confidence and experiences. We don’t always get along but I will be loyal to her and always defend her to the outside world.
University has helped in many ways. She has taught me things I didn’t know and things I’ve wondered about and I’d like to think that I too have made a little mark in her long history, although there’s been so many others before me. She makes me comfortable, when I’m with her I know what I am and what I do and what is expected of me and I know what she is and what she’ll do. I’ve met her many faces and with her I feel safe.
Today I had what might be my last seminar. It will be a while before I come back. I’m believe I will come back though, this relationship is too important to let go of eternally, one day or another. Perhaps sooner than expected.
Another year is over. A year that changed life completely in many ways. A little baby was born, studies were more or less finished and the mood swings constant. We had the hottest summer in forever and not enough knitting but surprisingly enough some crochet. There’s been tears and joy and confusion and proud moments. I have mixed feelings about 2018 and I’m not sure I have very high expectations for 2019 either but we’ll see. Maybe I’ll be surprised.
If 2018 was a year of preparations, 2019 will be the year of when all will be tested. New jobs, new roles. I’m not saying I think it will be perfect and I don’t claim to be either, just good enough to be happy and perhaps make others happy too. I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions and I’m not making one this year either but if there is anything, I will try to have a motto for next year: good enough. I’m marching on to the beat I drum.
And also I’ll try to actually use gift certificates before they expire.
Pattern: Losely based on Raggsockar med bumeranghäl from Järbo Garn. Yarn: Raggi from Järbo Garn, color 15141. Mods: in the end I think I only kept the amount of stitches to cast on. I played around with a heel flap and just took it from there.